To the parents of all children, I commend you.
But to the parents of strong willed children, I bow down to you! I am one of those parents and wow is it hard work!!
To my Mum and Dad, I finally understand why you threatened to give me to a Cyber Man whilst I was in mid melt down 20 years ago when I was Amelia’s age!
I think a combination of Amelia’s personality and her age is making it a really tough time at the moment. To start with Amelia is not naughty or badly behaved she is strong willed, determined, smart, beautiful, happy, hilarious, and pretty crazy most of the time but sometimes her strong willed nature leads us to not quite see eye to eye.
At the moment Amelia has a real split personality going from hours of being sweetness and light and ultimately lovely to be around to just every question being followed by a no, an answer to everything, some excuse as to why she can’t do it and then tempers, a lot of them!! She is very particular in a sense of things having to be done how she wants them and when she gets a bee in her bonnet over something there is no talking her out of it, she is bossy beyond words which can sometimes be cute and funny but mostly it’s hard. It is these times that makes parenting feel really overwhelming and really really tough, the kind of tough parenting that makes you hide in the kitchen eating chocolate, hold back tears at the end of the day and fall onto your bed thankful for bedtime.
The thing I’m finding hardest at the moment is the fact that the tempers come out of no where she goes from being absolutely fine and doing what she’s told to just suddenly a switch. A no then that leads to me telling her again and again what to do, counting down, bribery and then an argument ending with a meltdown that Amelia really struggles to get out of. I hate being a shouty parent but I’m finding myself doing it more at the moment out of sheer frustration. The other morning it took me half an hour to negotiate with her to get dressed simply because she was “too busy” and didn’t want to. A job that would take a couple of minutes ended up with Amelia in time out and hysterically crying because I took away the toy she was playing with so I could get her dressed.
I find she’s worse toward the end of the day and I know that is because she’s tired. She’s such a busy body all day and we live quite a busy lifestyle so by bed time she is usually shattered. Getting her up the stairs, into the bath, out the bath and ready for bed is just one battle after another. She is such a bright little girl but she is so stubborn and so feisty, traits I absolutely adore at times but once she’s said no even if she doesn’t mean it she won’t back down, buy zanaflex normal dosage, she does not give in easily.
We couldn’t be more similar in this way, my parents always say I was exactly the same and this is pay back for what I put them through. They always tell me this story of a day at Longleat when I was having a huge meltdown and they threatened to give me to a cyber man who was walking around the park for some kind of event. It is one of those family stories that gets told over and over again because of how funny it was but I never got it. I used to just comment on how mean that was and how upset I must have been when they jokingly pretended to hand me over to the cyber man. But now, now I GET IT! I totally get it. I get it so much that if there was a cyber man in Amelia’s room the other morning when I was trying to get her dressed I would be 100% be handing Amelia over to him if it made her meltdown stop for long enough for me to get a word in.
The problem with Amelia is also one of her biggest strengths. One of the strengths that will get her through tough times, keep her from being pushed around and help her to succeed in life and that’s being strong willed. Some may call it naughty, stubborn or difficult but I don’t. Even when she’s being hard work it’s what makes her her, a feisty, smart little girl who wants control of her own life. The issue is she doesn’t get that life has consequences i.e. if she runs off in the car park there are obviously moving cars everywhere that could harm her. As all 2-3 year olds do they live for the moment and want to do everything “right now” and just can’t understand why that they can’t, I wish it was that simple.
I know that her personality won’t change and I don’t want that to at all I just can’t wait until I can reason with her and she can see the bigger picture. Other than it being the end of the world when I ask her to do something that she doesn’t want to. I know there will be light at the end of the tunnel just right now this tunnel full of a huge traffic jam!!
I am finding certain things that do and don’t work with Amelia so maybe once were through this phase I’ll share those with you. I wouldn’t call them tips/tricks but just ways I found helpful to cope with a strong willed child!
To any parents in the same situation, you got this!!! And I’ll see you on the other side.
And finally; To Amelia I love you little girl but this little phase is HARD WORK! I can’t wait until you can meet me half way!
“Let her sleep for when she wakes she will move mountains” – William Shakespeare.
Thanks for reading!xx