Right now I’m totally at the end of my tether of a bad day. An afternoon of tempers a child that didn’t listen and a mix of being tired has left me in the worst mood. To be honest it’s not been the best week and I’m just feeling totally deflated.
But overall I’m just fed up of having to be the bad cop alllllll the time.
Being a full time single mum means I’m the only person that can fully discipline Amelia. This is so blimming hard and something I never really thought about until here I am right in the middle of it.
I’m a pretty positive and upbeat person so having to be strict and firm hasn’t come naturally to me. I’ll admit I’ve let Amelia get away with things; thrown out empty threats and not followed through with things many a time so potentially I’ve not done myself any favours. But it’s so hard being the one that has to be mean all the time. Being the one that tells her she can’t have ice cream if she doesn’t eat her dinner, no we’re not going to be getting that toy she wanted because her behaviour has just sucked this week and no she doesn’t get to watch that film because she wouldn’t help tidy up the mess she had made.
In return I’m the one who gets shouted at, tempers aimed at, hit and told I can’t be her best friend anymore (ultimate insult from a three year old). I’m the one who bears the brunt of it ALL THE TIME and it’s pretty exhausting. As those of you with young kids will know these tempers can last a while but once they calm down their over it, onto the next thing and I’m expected to flip back to being good cop again or at least trying too. Switching between the two sometimes multiple times a day is really difficult.
Myself and Amelia have a really close relationship but our personalities are just exactly the same so sometimes we clash. This makes the bad cop/good cop scenario even harder as half the time she’s wound me up so much I want to be frustrated and firm but know that I should be trying the good cop (calm low voice) route so I’m just totally conflicted. It would be nice to be able to be the good cop and pin it onto someone else every once in a while.
Amelia is one of those who totally swings in phases; a few months of being a total gem followed by a few weeks of being a terror so the bad cop tends to go on holiday for a while then come back suddenly and needs to be present full time.
It’s just a really rubbish part to being a solo parent because there’s nothing worse than your child saying “My mum wouldn’t let me do this/that” and being the one responsible for taking things away/enforcing consequences. Even though it’s a few minutes that they will soon be over it still hurts and still makes you feel like the worst person. Now don’t get me wrong we have plenty of good times in amongst all this but at the end of a bad cop day it can leave you feeling like a pretty terrible parent.
I guess it is something that I’ll just get used to and hopefully with time and patience it will get easier.
So here is to all the bad cops. You are not alone!