I am 100% obsessed with sleep. Being a new mum among everything else that now constantly fills my brain sleep is right up there! Now being obsessed with sleep I don’t mean getting lots of it because I can assure you that is not happening but it is something I spend the early hours of the morning obsessing over.
So when I was pregnant everyone was constantly telling me to make the most of sleeping because when she’s arrived you won’t sleep EVER again (slight exaggeration) and how demanding the night feeds are. Now I do feel slightly deceived by Amelia; the first week or so the nights seemed to be easier than what they are now. She would go in her cot and wake every three hours for a feed. Now it is a much harder job to get her to actually settle in her cot. But anyway so now I find myself obsessing over how many hours sleep I’m going to get, so much so I write it down…2 hours here 1 hour there etc.
The worst thing is when I wake up I look at the time I then give myself in my head whilst walking around getting a bottle ready a best and worst case scenario “maybe she’ll only take half hour to feed change and settle or maybe she’ll take an hour….or maybe two…even if she takes two and then only sleeps for one to be up for her next feed in three hours I could still get an hour in between to sleep…” Basically I sound like an absolute loon! But I can’t help it. It almost becomes a challenge for me; especially if I hit my best case scenario (not sure that has actually happened yet).
I’ve also started to wonder who else is awake. Am I the only one? (Obviously not) Sometimes get a quick scroll through twitter/facebook and see peoples status’ and tweets about what their up too in these unhealthy hours. Mostly my twitter feed is filled with those from America I follow (the Kardashians). The worst hours for any feed is between 4-5:30am, being awake during that hour and a half is just awful. It’s too late and too early at the same time and it’s the time I feel most tired, apparently it’s the time that those on a night-shift struggle the most and feel most tired so I guess it’s kind of similar?? Maybe not but it’s just an awful time. Hitting my clock and seeing a time after 4 and before 6 really doesn’t make getting out of bed any easier! However, once I’m up I’m fine excusing one mishap falling asleep in the chair downstairs whilst waiting for the bottle to heat up usually I am pretty awake within a few minutes and the same goes for in the morning once I’m up showered and dressed for the day the tiredness seems to disappear until a low point in the afternoon and the evening when I’m getting ready for bed!
It is so surprising how much sleep you can actually cope on. Pregnancy allows you to get as much sleep as you like which really doesn’t do well for preparing you for the little you’re going to get now you’ve got a baby- sets you up for a fail really!! When I was at uni I got into an awful sleep cycle being able to stay up until the early hours of the morning and unless I had lectures staying in bed until lunch time, not good and I probably got the most sleep I have ever had. But most days I find on average I get about 6 hours broken apart into two hour or hour and a half stints which probably doesn’t make me feel like I’ve had 6 hours! Although I did get lucky last night and somehow got 8 hours sleep (broken up obviously but still!)
I would advise anyone to where possible if you are really tired try grabbing a nap in the afternoon when your baby is sleeping; I agree it’s difficult because you’re up dressed and sometimes the nap will leave you feeling worse off initially but you just don’t know how much sleep you are going to get that night. Having Amelia is so worth the lack of sleep but you need to as well as looking after a newborn keep yourself healthy. I fear getting ill because I just don’t have time for it so trying to get a few hours sleep is really important to not let yourself get run down!
I think mostly it’s just the crazy thoughts that go through your head in the early hours rather than an actual obsession, although I do have quite an obsessive personality. But it’s one of the reasons I am so keen to get Amelia into a routine fairly quickly. We are getting there slowly; she’s getting slightly more consistent with times between her feeds so fingers crossed it will only get better!!
Sparing a thought in the early hours for any other new mums doing the same!
Blair Waldorf Gossip Girl: “Great leaders only need three hours of sleep a night. Mine just happen to be non-consecutive.”